12:18 - Sympathetic Pronouncements

משלי יב:יח

יֵשׁ בּוֹטֶה כְּמַדְקְרוֹת חָרֶב וּלְשׁוֹן חֲכָמִים מַרְפֵּא:

Mishlei 12:18 – Sympathetic Pronouncements

There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise heals.

The term used for speech in this pasuk is “boteh” which connotes “official pronouncements,” as in, “or if a person will swear le’vatei sefasayim (pronounce with his lips)” (Vayikra 5:4). In certain cases, when a pronouncement is made which has a detrimental impact on its listeners, the announcer is utterly insensitive to the harsh and painful affect of his words; this occurs either because he lacks sympathy, or because he seeks to avoid sympathizing with the listener. Consequently, those who hear the pronouncement will be more resistant to accepting it and will likely harbor animosity towards its source; this will lead to interpersonal and systemic friction. The chachamim, on the other hand, will take the emotional affect of their words into consideration by putting themselves in the shoes of the listeners; they will make an effort to formulate their pronouncements in a manner that generates minimal discord, and which aims to undo or prevent the emotional damage that has or will be done.